She's JV to your varsity
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
