i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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