considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
