In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
