I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
two words...techno handjob
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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