I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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