There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you never un-have a 4some
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
