I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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