The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
