Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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