yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Acid is not a monday night drug
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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