After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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