What a fucking waste of an outfit
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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