feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
