Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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