Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I CAN MOONWALK!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
