I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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