We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
