Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
