You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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