I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
