i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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