he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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