just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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