Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
