When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
