haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize