I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's never too late to be topless.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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