best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
soo... how was my night?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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