I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
