I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
How does one acquire holy water?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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