do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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