I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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