You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
