It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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