They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize