And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize