I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
so much tequila, so little girl.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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