I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
