My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
