another moral hangover. fuck.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
