I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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