We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
