I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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