You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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