Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This is my gift to your gina
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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