distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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