this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
