I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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