Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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