Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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