What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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