just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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