It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
