just tell him i said nine months
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
