Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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