had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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