Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
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