Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize