ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
