never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
