fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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