Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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