he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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