i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
