Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
