I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
drinking out of a sandbucket again
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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