I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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