He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
