so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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